Like always, I was scouring on Pinterest as a mean of wasting time before each meal times everyday - and I found myself on James Maa's Productivity Hacking Guide page. He mentioned about starting a blog; and obviously I thought about this. As I read the paragraph, I had to be honest with myself, no one really cares about my writing - no one would actually be able to judge whatever I am about to say or have said - because no one would actually know about the existence of these posts.

I would like to talk about all the little things, which would mean indulging in my depression-filled moods, but then as James said, I don't need that in my life. At least not in this blog. The reason my posts have dwindled down is because I half-consciously associated this blog with my depression; and I then put it off till at the very end when I couldn't take it anymore and I don't have anyone else to go to. 

Even I agree that my best writing is when I am deep, deep in the abyss of desperation and sadness. I always just let this go and continue to teeter at the edge, as writing great pieces matter to me very much, but it shall not be that way anymore. Being here, on the brink of sanity, is not healthy (way to go Sherlock) and I am seriously done with it all. It's not even appreciated anyways.

I know, I know, this is probably my fifth time saying this, but recently I have been feeling more okay, even better than before in a very long time. I am still stuck in depression, and some days were still tougher than most but the music scene, my old hobbies of reading and singing... they're trickling back into my life and I couldn't feel more happier - if I could feel that way again.

You can't imagine how devastated and frustrated I felt when I found out the things I was passionate about for years no longer had the spark and endorphin they usually give off.

But anyways - enough of that.

Why am I here? I'm not sure, but let's see.

I rearranged my room yesterday and the extra space did wonders on my mood - plus I baked brownies today! Wore my cute pajama outfit and currently listening to lucy rose and yuna again. Even started listening to her malay songs, which is a first since I started becoming a fan. Her malay songs aren't even so bad. 

I am still in my movie marathons, but they no longer become time wasters and I actually enjoy them more; the same goes with the whole pinterest thing - I enjoyed styling and creating new outfits, and I get excited till the next time I can go out so I can wear those outfits. I am also on instagram more often now... this should be a good sign but I'm still hesitant. 

Other than that I'm using my planner a lot more. I wanted to at least fill a week worth. I also have lists, like to read/watch/listen/do lists and things like that.

Tomorrow is unique's birthday. I know, there's a lot to talk about that old news, haha. 

Finally time had caught up with me. Finally. Obviously he is still attractive as ever (If you're actually reading this right now, oh shush you. Don't make this worse.) We talked the other day and it was really great. I may talk more tomorrow. It is quite late anyways and my capability of writing comprehensible English is leaving me.

I'm feeling okay recently.

Thank you very much, dear Allah. Thank you so, so much.